Leaving our troubles behind – or do we?

Some of us leave our countries to run away from the reality of our own lives. Whatever the reason, unless we realize who we are and that our lives are the results of our own choices we once made, we will forever keep running away. It is important to realise our true reasons for moving abroad in order to live a happy life. Running away from any kind of trouble is not a good start to a new life abroad.

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Awareness

It’s not just about cultural awareness. How we personally react to differences in general plays a huge part in adjusting to life abroad. Being aware of cultural differences prior to moving abroad gives us the opportunity to assume how things may turn out. However, our personal ability to adjust to differences determines how well and how quickly we settle in.

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Culture Shock

Remember the first few weeks in a foreign country? It was not that bad right. In fact, this sense of freedom was pretty awesome. Starting a new life where no one knows about our past behaviour hiccups, a new life where we could become who ever we want to be. Amazing, right? Or is it?

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Back to reality

It’s the beginning of the New Year, and we all have to come back to reality and to what life really seems to be about – work. It is hard enough to return to work after Christmas, let alone returning to live and work abroad.

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Christmas

Being away from our loved ones is hard enough throughout the year, let alone over the Christmas. Traditionally, Christmas is seen as a happy family time when people are exceptionally nice to one another and they are expected to make an effort to spend some time together.

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Emotional disconnection

In search for some emotional rest, we (unconsciously) emotionally disconnect from reality. Feelings of regret, failure, grief, disappointment etc., are signs of not being prepared for the loss of our old lives. As we resent those negative feelings, we emotionally disconnect from what we feel, which works as a protection from emotional distress.

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Autumn

There is a strange, almost sad feeling, hanging in the air and announcing that the summer is over. It gets chilly, the days are shorter, and our energy levels start to drop. The yearly battle called “Is it too soon to turn the heating on?” begins.

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Responsibility

If we believe that our lives are shaped by outside forces, we will find it difficult to change anything in them. We and only we are responsible for our own un/happiness.

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Choice

We all make choices. Every day, we make many choices, which then influence our existence. Our lives did not just happen to us; we created them.

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In search of meaning

As we live our lives, we try to rationalize the world around us, which is, for most of us, quite irrational. To have a purpose or to believe in something greater than ourselves, gives us hope and promises a brighter future. Without meaning, our life might feel incomplete.

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Loss

Even the smallest loss can lead to a big reaction. Losing something or someone is emotionally challenging for everyone and we are often unprepared for such a loss. Love and grief go hand in hand and choosing to travel, live, or study abroad inevitably carries a risk of grief for home.

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Lost in translation

Language barrier is one of the obvious challenges of living abroad. To feel like an outsider due to this obstacle is a common (if unwanted) feeling most expats go through. Over time, it can result in a growing sense of frustration.

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Personal Support Network

There is no doubt that we all need the support of others. We all want to be a part of something greater; we all want to “belong”.

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Unrealistic Expectations

Having concrete, well-established expectations is not the best approach to life. It will often lead to misunderstanding and disappointment.

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Search for home

At some point, we no longer know where we belong. Eventually, we learn how to love our new home and how to adjust to our new daily life. The moment we fall in love or form a meaningful relationship, we find ourselves wondering what to do next. And at that point, it is difficult to decide where our home actually is.

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Misunderstandings

One of the challenges we face when living abroad are cultural differences. Each culture has its ways, certain unwritten rules by which the majority of the population lives. Until we learn the new ways, we try to apply those that we have brought with us.

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Meaningful relationships

Choosing the right people to spend time with is an important part of adjusting to a new life abroad.

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Change

While we live abroad, things back home change. People change, their life stories change, and we change too. For us, time stands still, as we are “removed from reality”, but for those left behind, life naturally moves on and changes.

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Comfort zone

Once we move abroad, a comfort zone of our home town suddenly transforms into a “war zone” in which we are scared to even exist. It is extremely tiring to adjust to a new life abroad, mainly because many of our habits are being challenged.

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Fulfilment

“Fulfilment is satisfaction or happiness as a result of fully developing one's abilities or character, it is the achievement of something desired, promised, or predicted”.

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Dependency vs independency

Dependence on others makes us weak. Moving abroad requires mastering of a high level of independency, including finding ways to “survive” emotionally.

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Attachment

To leave friends and family behind would be hard for anyone. A thrill of an adventure cannot prevent unexpected emotional challenges that we will inevitably have to face.

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