Dependency vs independency

Dependence on others makes us weak. Moving abroad requires mastering of a high level of independency, including finding ways to “survive” emotionally.



In Holland, I was told by various authorities to learn Dutch as I was in The Netherlands. They refused to communicate with me in English and kept answering my e-mails in Dutch. Therefore, I had to lean on native speakers quite strongly, which in turn resulted in postponing what was supposed to be done and in isolating myself from the outside world.

It’s very easy to play a victim and quite hard to fight our way up in a foreign country. Why should we? We are adults and we have sacrificed way too much to achieve what we did in life. The reality of moving abroad, however, is that we are starting over.

The easiest way is to depend on others, which is not necessarily a bad thing; however, if we still find ourselves scared to face the world after a year or so, something has to change. We have to change our habits, and the best way to do so is to understand our fears and defence mechanisms which will then help us gain control over our lives. 

To learn the language is the least we can do to show respect, and to feel more comfortable as well. Also, we will become independent and less vulnerable.

6. 9. 2016
Lenka Collins
Counsellor, Therapist, Life Coach
working with adults in Prague
Mobile Phone: +420 774 223 515


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